hummin' along ;)

The girl....

The interesting thing with life is that sometimes it hears what your needs are and delivers them. It's been just over four weeks since L and I met for that first coffee date. In that short time we've shared so much it feels like it's been a lot longer. I used to think when people were saying that "it will just happen" or "you'll just know" that they were full of shit. But this experience is slowly changing my perceptions. We both just feel so comfortable around each other and the level of passion between us is out of this world. There's definitely something here with which only time will tell the outcome. I know what I would like the outcome to be and I am pretty sure I know what she is wanting as well. I guess we'll just leave it to go how it goes. I'm sure it will work out for the best.

Work...Grrrr!

Work is driving me nuts!! I'm stuck in a job that has no growth potential at all right now. I was so happy when I landed the position as I was fed the usual crap about excellent opportunities. The pay they offered too didn't hurt. On the bright side of things, L has offered to send my resume to some contacts of hers. There happens to be a company (conveniently located around the corner from her office) that they are friends with the owners. With any luck I might be able to get in with an up and coming new company that has definite growth potential. Lately I've also have been giving some more thought to going a totally different direction, towards personal training. I've thought about it in the past when I was looking for work. At that point it was more of a 'just while I'm looking' kind of thing. My concerns are with regards to money. There really isn't that much unless you are in a 'trainer to the stars' kind of situation. But it's something that I enjoy doing and can see myself looking forward to getting up in the morning to do. That point has it's scary part too though. It's definitely my passion and I am so scared that doing it every day may take away the passion side of it and turn it into something I despise. I would hate for that to happen.

Training stuff

The Christmas break was not too bad considering I was on a massive sugar rush for about two weeks. It's going to take about a week for my blood sugar to come back down to normal levels lol. It's really opened my eyes as to how much simple sugars really effect me. I entered the break at 195lbs and this morning I weighed in at 204lbs. It's back to eating clean and light now and all the sugary goodness has been packed away for another day. I should be back down to the upper 190's in about a week or two. The interesting side of this is that I still have pretty good vascularity and I STILL can see my serratus anterior muscles which I've always used as an indicator of how lean I am getting while dieting. It seemed that my strength actually dropped off a bit while I was high on sugar. I attributed this to inflammation though as things were rather achy. Shoulders, elbows and knees were a bit sore. I'm sure that once the blood sugar gets back down and the fibre goes up things will get back to normal for me in that area. In the meantime it's ice, pensaid and massage to the rescue.

Next time....

I've been given a challenge of writing my "year in review" as L and her friends all do this. I've never done it myself heck I never considered myself a writer at all. I started this blog as a way of getting things off my chest and mind. I'm going to give this a go and see what comes out. In any event it will make me think about what happened to me this past year. Could be fun, scary and exciting but definitely enlightening.

keep training..

Warming up and carbing down....

DATING STUFF

Well now this has become interesting. As you know I've been up on OKCupid for quite a while now, with not much success really. I had written someone last year as her profile said that she worked in the online dating industry. I recall her profile stating that she was married and was just on the site for research and such. At the time I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that there wasn't much action happening so I wrote her to get her opinion of my profile and her views on the online dating topic. She wrote back and gave me some pointers, everything pretty much positive and that was that.

Fast forward to today and things are a little different now. She's divorced. She wrote me the other day and we started chatting back and forth. She had just come back from Maui and was going to get back to me when she had come back down to reality. Yesterday we chatted for a bit and I suggested coffee (typical first date, don't judge me on originality ;) ). We met and had an amazing conversation. We're very much alike in how we think and how we communicate. We went back to her place and continued to chat for a bit. Now before you think what I think you are thinking, STOP! Get your head out of the gutter. A friend of hers was going to be stopping in in a bit so we agreed that it was time for me to go, I had things I needed to get done anyway. She walked me to the door and the goodbye kiss went on for a little longer than a goodbye kiss normally does. I'm sure if her friend wasn't standing outside the front door (which is made of glass btw) things would have heated up a bit more.

We made the best out of a slightly embarrassing situation, said our hellos and L and I agreed to get in touch soon so that we can set something up.

Looks like I'm going to have a full weekend coming up ;)

TRAINING STUFF

OK so here we go. Offseason is underway, has been for 5 weeks now. The power is starting to come back again. Bench is back to 315lb and 365lb shouldn't be that far off. I can see a 405lb bench later this year.

We are taking a little different approach after looking at last years progress.I already knew I was carb sensitive so I pulled it back last year. I still had pasta pretty much everyday but portioned out the serving. 

This year all starchy carbs are out. Nothing but fibrous carbs. Simply put, fruit. We are taking a closer look at GI and GL influence and the starchy carbs just spike the blood sugar too much where the fibrous carbs don't. It's hard to believe but a serving of shredded wheat will spike your blood sugar as effectively as a spoon of sugar! So much for whole wheat being the healthy choice. An apple even though it is sweet, because of the fibre in it does not spike your blood sugar (might I suggest Honey Crisp apples, friggin awesome). Stack the apple with a good protein and fat source and you reduce the insulin spike even further. I'm still getting around 30gm of carbs per meal but they are of a better, more valuable kind. The only time I would have a simple carb would be right after training when you want an insulin spike (insulin pushes nutrients, proteins and glycogen into the cells). For that treat I always have a small bar of dark chocolate. I'm a bit of a chocolate fiend, especially 70% Lindt dark. The cocao has other antioxidant properties to it as well so it's win win.

K that's all for now. I got a pot of chilli to put on, laundry to get up from the basement and a couch that needs sitting on.

Any questions?






(UPDATE)
Ok that was hilarious! I pulled the laundry up and was about to get the chilli on. I figured I should text L and let her know I had a great time and that we should set something up for Saturday. As I was typing my message, she messaged me! She beat me by 5 seconds! K' plans are set, dinner is at my place and the signature sesame lemongrass salmon is the surprise menu. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Another swing at bat....

So I gotta get back in the game again. Get back up on the horse as it were and start getting more social again. It's not like I had cooled down all that much but towards the end of my preseason dieting I was starting to get pretty tired most of the time. It limits what you can do rather than what you want to do, sleep becomes a very scarce commodity and a high priority which you will grab whenever you can. There's that and of course the breakup didn't do too much for my overall motivation to get out. So I pulled back and took a bit of a rest. Enough of that, time to go and have some fun again.

As for the diet this year, my last week, when the end was so close, I ended up getting sick. I never get sick, once a year at most which is a bonus. The timing just sucked this time around really. So my diet was cut by one week, oh well no biggie I guess. It's not like I was going to drop another 10lbs in that last week or anything. I also wasn't competing this year either so there wasn't a dire need to get absolutely shredded. I decided to take the week off work and the gym and start getting carbs back in the diet again. Getting as much sleep as I could and recovering from the previous 15 weeks of hard work and bland chicken, mmmmm beef.

All in all the diet was good this year. I accomplished my goals and found out that I can go harder and deeper than I ever had gone before. I started out at 215lbs and ended up at 173lbs. Each year getting leaner and leaner while also gaining more mass, shape and overall balance. Win win no matter how you look at it.

So now I find that I am getting back to my normal self again. The off-season has already started and so far, just 3 weeks in, I am seeing the rebound kick in big time and I am so pumped about this years potential. I'm already back up to 315lbs on my bench and 405lbs on the squat! As it was last year, it's going to be a conservative off-season. Just like the pre-season diet everything gets measured so that I can keep from getting too big too fast. Putting on too much in the off-season simply makes the following pre-season all that much harder. I've learnt that you can only drop so much in a pre-season before your body pushes back and says enough! It's best to be smart about it and play the long game. Build your goal over a long time and the results will be all the more sweeter.

Another goal of mine was to take control of my finances and get myself out from under this bullshit credit card debt that I have. I've lied to myself for quite a while saying that I was working hard to pay it off but I see how full of shit I was. Low and behold the universe seems to hear these honest cries for help and provides it just when you need it most. I've heard over and over again about budgeting but I never did get into the habit of it, until now. I came across a program called YNAB which is short for You Need A Budget. It's fairly basic but powerful in that it puts you in control of your spending. It has totally changed my life and it's only been two months since I started using it. I can't begin to describe how much more empowering it feels to finally be in control and know that I won't ever be caught short again. I highly recommend checking it out.


There's more to chat about but I think I'll close this one off for now.


A.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.”—Jim Rohn

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2011/11/06/the-single-most-important-mindset-shift/ 

The only constant is change and sometimes change sucks

So it's been quite some time since I've been here. I never meant to ditch and run, life just got in the way. Sorry about that.

Well it was an amazing summer, one I will not soon forget. Alas it came to and end just as soon as the colder weather crept in. I should have seen it coming from the start. She had just gotten out of a 13 year relationship 3 months before we met. She hadn't had enough time on her own to come to grips with what had just happened. The thing is, I feel both of us were taken by surprise by each other, not expecting what we got. It started out as just a casual hook up between two adults. But after a while, it turned into something else, something deeper.

She had to move back in with her parents and they live quite far away. Shortly after that and a week before my birthday was when we had "the talk". It wasn't the distance that was a problem, it was her unaddressed issues that surfaced and needed dealing with which drove us apart.

I was confused for a while, numb really. It's only after you loose something or someone that you truly realize what they mean to you. By then it's too late. So now it's picking up the pieces and focussing myself on my work and my training. It hasn't been easy but I sure as hell won't give up

"Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin." ~ Denise McCluggage

W.

Oh! how much can change in a matter of hours

The phone rang about 9:30am. It was the HR person from one of the places I had interviewed at. She asked me a couple of house cleaning questions, if I was still interested, confirmed how much I was looking for that kind of stuff. She then asked if I would be available later in the day if they needed to get in touch with me. I assured her I would. Once the call ended I began to try and pull my hair out! I'm already bald so it was a fruitless attempt but you understand how jacked up I was. I was reaching the end of my sanity and something was going to break. If it was going to happen, now would be a good time.

The phone rang again later in the afternoon, around 4:30pm. It was the same girl that called earlier that day. I was hoping for it, I was ready for it and sure enough those sweet words were said to me, "we would like to extend the offer to you". What an immense load off my brain those few words had. No more wading through postings of jobs that most likely weren't real jobs at all. No more sending resumes to postings that would undoubtedly go unanswered. But most of all, I now had a direction to go towards and a goal that I could own.

Now I was let in on a couple of the perks during the interview, and those really peaked my interest but she went over them again, with the addition of a couple of other gems and literally blew me away. Salary was non-negotiable, they gave me exactly what I asked for. Full benefits, dollar for dollar RSP matching, stock options, bonuses, tuition reimbursement, the works!

I feel this is going to be a good move for me. I'm not working downtown anymore but rather in the suburbs just North of my place. I'll need to drive there and back so it's back to commuting again, although it is going against morning traffic so it's not too bad, I have done it before.

I'm definitely going to have to get A/C in my next car though.

It's spring but it doesn't feel like it....

So today is the first day of spring. I so couldn't wait any longer even though it really doesn't mean the pool's gonna open in the next few days or anything. I'm just that little bit happier that winter has come to an end and that warmer weather is coming sooner than later.

The progress on the work side of things hasn't gone as well as I had hoped. Those six, yes six, interviews I had a few weeks ago have not produced a thing. Not one of them has called me back or sent an offer. That was a real kick in the balls when I finally accepted that nothing is going to come from that flurry. I had pulled back from sending out more resumes as I was so convinced that something was going to come so now it's back to finding posts and sending more resumes out.

Lately though I've really started to think whether or not I want to continue with computers. I mean, I've been in the biz for going on 15+ years. Either working for myself, someone else or just being the friend that knows computers. I noticed about 4 years into my business that computers were starting to loose their allure they once had for me. 2 years after that I shut down the business. That was shortly after I started training at the gym. Lot's of changes going on back then. Looking back now they were all but the tip of the iceberg of changes that were to come.

I had come to the conclusion that I after the last contract, I was going to go to RMT school. After researching it though, talking with friends and some people in the biz, I determined that it wouldn't be the best choice. It's been 7 years now training hard and getting results to show for it and some friends of mine have said that I should get into personal training, that I do a good job of getting them motivated and on the right path towards their goals. That may be the path that I go down but I am leery as the money in the start is not all that good. In my hometown if you aren't pulling in at least $50K you're going to have a hard time getting by. From what I understand starting in personal training will pull in about $20K. That would be about enough to pay my rent and that's it.

I'll have to do some more research and call around to places before I make a decision.

a different kind of change..

I met a girl that lives in the building over summer last year, the last time I was unemployed. I'd go down to the pool almost everyday and get some sun. She was on a staycation at the time and she was spending some time poolside as well. She's one of those really outgoing personable people. The kind that can make friends anywhere she goes. I kind of envy that, wishing I could pull the same thing off but it really isn't me. We're both believers of the MBTI and where she scored extrovert, I clearly scored introvert.

Introverts hardly ever make the news and it's the extroverts that love the spotlight. She's pointed out that she can easily go out to a bar alone and make new friends there without a problem. I myself wouldn't go out to a bar alone. I tried it a couple of times but it didn't work out. For introverts to go out to a bar with more than 2 or 3 friends becomes exhausting. We can only take it for a short while and then we have to leave and go somewhere a little less 'busy'. Also adding in that I'm not really a drinker anymore and there's one more reason to skip going to a bar in the first place!

I've known in some way I was an introvert even before I knew about the MBTI. It's kept me to myself and in some situations, pushing people away. There is a clear explanation for why I've been single or so long. It takes a heck of a lot of effort and energy for me to meet new people and for some, mostly extroverts, they don't understand why. Instead they assume that I'm antisocial or just being moody and It's not that at all. For extroverts, the same pull or need to meet new people and always be out doing something with other people is the exact same pull and need that introverts feel but it is instead to be alone or doing things one-on-one in a quiet surroundings. To do the opposite of what your nature is takes effort and energy.

It is the current place I find my life in that is making me take note of this particular trait. Extroverts are more often more successful than introverts in almost every area of life. Career, relationships, personal happiness those parts of life. As I said most introverts are looked at as being antisocial and antisocial people are not often invited back to a party. I've hopped from one job to another, never staying very long and never making a true home for myself in what it was I was doing. I've had so many jobs in my life that I can do all sorts of things. I've become very self sufficient and don't often need to ask anyones help with things. Which is another aspect that looks good on paper but in real life, is not so good, I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Jack of all trades, master of none'.

I'm tiring of being an introvert as it's not getting me what I want for my life. It's contributed to keeping me single, it's kept me alone without very many friends and it's kept me from finding true happiness. It's a difficult thing to take on but changing from an introvert to an extrovert can be done. Or at least becoming a suitable facsimile of an extrovert at least. I can just imagine it feeling like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it just won't feel right at all but I think it's the only way to go about it. I read a quote about an hour ago and it said; "In order to change, something has to change" and to be honest, it truly is that simple if you think about it.

Now I have to determine how much I want that change to happen and how much I am willing to pay for it.

Something to share...

Here is something that was sent to me. It was one of those emails, yo know the ones that's forwarded to everyone and their uncle. There's a list of a hundred email addresses at the top and it takes five minutes just to scroll down to the body, yeah one of those.

Once I read it though I felt it was important info that should be shared, so here it is. Share it yourself with those you care about and love.

NURSE'S HEART ATTACK EXPERIENCE

I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. Please read, pay attention, and send it on!

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read..

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack.. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.

'I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation--the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.

1 . Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics' and if you can take an aspirin, ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER. You are a hazard to others on the road.

Do NOT have your panicked husband drive who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

Do NOT call your doctor he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

*Please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends (male & female) who you care about!

Anticipation.....

The past few weeks has been rather interesting regarding the job front. I've had 6 interviews in the past 2 weeks, five of which happened in one week! Every single one of them went really really well, as far as I could tell. Now I have to wait to see if they felt the same way.

It would really be nice to have multiple offers all come in at the same time for once. Just having the ability to choose where I would like to go and have a little bargaining power to boot would be awesome.

Let's see now. There was the communications company that liked my Video Conferencing background. Then there was the online sex search company that was looking for a network admin assistant. They are doing a whole new roll out upgrading all of their backbone to new hardware and platforms. That project alone sounds interesting. Not really conducive to my ongoing personal recovery but it's a job and I'll be working with the computer hardware not the website per se. Next up is a consumer collections company looking for an onsite tech support/ network admin person. The reporting manager is located in Vancouver so there would be no one looking over my shoulder all day long. I prefer that then the thought of being micromanaged. I was contacted rather shortly after updating my Monster.ca resume by a placement company looking to fill a video conferencing specialist for Direct Energy. This role sounds really fun. I'd be looking after the video conferencing equipment and technical questions as well as their A/V equipment. See I knew all those years of DJ'ing and playing with big speakers would pay off at some point! A few weeks ago I was contacted by OpenText, a software company. They are looking for a tech support guy to add to the team. I was contacted on Friday late afternoon for a Monday meeting. That one went really well. They said hat they don't do more than one interview and there were only three people they were meeting with, me being the top candidate. I have all of the skills they need and got along pretty well with the two managers that I met with. I know that's only five but there were a couple of phone based interviews that didn't appear to go anywhere. There's also Rogers tech support. Not really my first choice but they are hiring so I did submit my resume.

So as you can see there are a bunch of prospects on the go at this point and you can also see what's causing the anticipation that something is going to pop pretty soon. It's the waiting that is driving me nuts.

A week on..

So it's been just coming up on a week since I finished the contract role and have been looking for something. There was a flurry of postings that I feverishly sent out resumes to but that was going back a few weeks. Lately there hasn't been too much posted but those that have I've sent to all the same. I've got my fingers crossed that I land something soon, hopefully sooner than the last period of 5 months! Apparently the job situation is better up here in Canada than it is in the US. I'm experiencing it here and if it is worse in th US, it must really suck pretty bad.

I will post if something comes up or if I give up and just go for internet porn star instead. I hear the money ain't too shabby.

On the gym side, offseason is coming to a close soon. I've made some pretty good gains this year and still managed to stay leaner than any offseason before. Currently sitting at 207lbs and still have vascularity in areas, a little softer but there is definite shape to the legs and back still. Delts have always been a stubborn part for me and I have to hit them really hard to get anything out of them. There is shape there though and I'm sure they'll pop out once I get on the lean side again. Personal bests this year all around. 405 on the flat bench, 315 on the incline bench, 495 on squat and deadlift so things are going the right direction. I should have been pushing myself a bit more earlier on I suppose. I started doing a higher rep routine this year and although I did get some great pumps and all, I think I suffered a bit in getting the weight up. I should have stuck with the power approach and kept the working sets to 6-8 reps for a max effort and dropped down from there while increasing the rep count. That approach gives you the best of both worlds and has worked for me all the previous years. It's still early days on my training so I'll just chalk it up as experience and focus on getting lean for summer.

I was supposed to compete this year but since work has gone south, I've had to cancel the show this year. If I magically land something in the next 2-3 weeks it may be back on again but it would be very hard as I wouldn't have all that much time to diet down in time for the show. I'm a firm believer that you go to a show prepared and ready to win. You don't give the judges a reason to take points away. I've seen some people on stage that don't look like they prepared for it at all. It kinda makes you wonder what they were thinking.

For all those that read my post on the 27th and had chuckle, and for all those that already have piercings of some kind, you'll understand this one. Getting piercings (or tattoo's) can become a bit of an addictive thing. It's not like we're into pain or anything but the rush of getting it done and then knowing you have something that not every has it's what's attractive (at least to me). With that said, the thought of getting my nipples done is now floating around in my head. Nothing huge and no hoops (CBR's is what they're called). Little barbells with small ends. I've seen pics and read stories and it all sounds good to me. I've just been doing some research on how it is received up on stage at competitions. From what I've read I'll most likely have to remove them for a show. I can get retainers to keep the hole and they don't show at all so it may be workable. Just letting the idea percolate for a bit.

Anyone else have any body mods done?

All just a bunch of hooey!

I was talking with my mum today going over all the stuff that's gone on over the past few days. She asked how I was doing since I found out at 4:30pm Friday that the contract that I was working under expires at 5:00pm that day. That's right I am now unemployed, yet again! F'ing Bullocks! So now I've been updating the resume, getting all the particulars of the last job down before I forget it all. Then I need to get myself back into interview shape again which is just as exhausting as looking for something to apply to get interviewed for in the first place. I like job hunting about as much as I like looking for a new apartment. They both suck in this city.

Anyway, back on topic. One thing my mum asked was whether I caught any of the awards shows, the golden globes or something like that. Now I think that all of this is bullshit. I have absolutely no time to spend watching a bunch of actors stand around and pat each other on the back "because they did such an awesome performance" {the previously quoted sentence is to be said in the most sarcastic tone possible}. Who I admire are those that save lives day in and day out, who risk their own lives protecting others while sacrificing their own safety. Doctors, paramedics, police and fire(people?). But you don't see them throwing millions of dollars towards a televised campfire singalong while all the winners gasp in amazement saying "I can't believe this, I can't believe they love me so much. It's such a dream come true!" {again more sarcastic tones required for the previous quote}.

I would really like to see all of those awards shows go the way of the 8 track tape. Gone and forgotten an unnecessary waste of time and money to inflate already too huge ego's.

Just a bunch of hooey!

Ouch......but only for a second.

OK, there's really no other way to get this started.

No other way to ease into this topic.

So, here we go.

I got my dick pierced! There I said it!

I can't say exactly what prompted me to go do this. It's not like I have a whole ton of piercing throughout my body. I used to have my left ear pierced when it was cool for a young guy to have it. I pulled it out when I started working corporate. Course nowadays it's perfectly acceptable for guys in a corporate world to have both ears pierced in addition to having huge diamond studs. The older folk may look a little oddly at them but they're on their way out towards retirement so it's of no consequence.

All I know is that I happened across a picture of what I got done, a frenum piercing, and something just clicked. I had seen other piercings like the PA (Prince Albert) and was never drawn to them at all, even in the slightest. I remember seeing a guy at the gym with one and in my mind I questioned his sanity. But once I saw that picture it took me less than a week before I had one of my own.

(Not a pic of me btw. I'd show you if we were friends though)

http://tattoo.about.com/cs/beginners/a/bltest21.htm

I'm sure you are wondering what the whole process was like so I'll do my best to describe it. Who knows, maybe when I'm through you might start thinking about getting it done (or girls, something like it) yourself.

If you've ever had anything pierced before, aside from ears using a gun (any piercer worth their salt will call that a non-piercing just so you know) I'm sure you already know 90% of the process. First the cleaning of the area, being straight and having another guy fondle your junk that isn't your doctor is a little on the odd side, but I had so much adrenaline and other stuff running through me that it didn't really matter too much. I was surprisingly nonchalant about it all. I'm sure he had seen quite a few peckers in his day as he said he had done a couple hundred of them, he himself having 5.

he sized me up for a barbell and we discussed placement. I suggested a little lower on the shaft which was fine, he just had to leave to get a longer bar so that it would fit. A short minute later he came back and marked the in and the out spots. I took a look and OK'd everything. On went the clamp which in stories I've read, people were saying that the clamp was the worst part of it. To me the clamp was nothing. he told me to take a deep breath and I felt the needle just touching the skin a bit which caught me off guard. before I had a chance to say anything about that the push came. For about 2 seconds I felt and intense sting. others have said like a bee sting that doesn't linger. I've never been stung so I can't relate. To me it felt exactly like I had been anticipating and nothing that was unbearable at all.

He went over the maintenance routine about keeping it clean and to use the LTFA method (leave it the fuck alone). I wash it out 3 times a day mornings and evenings with spectrogel. The afternoons were a tricky one until I read about using contact lens saline. A big bottle of that I take to the john and I can squirt it right in the piercing holes. It's only been 5 days and this thing is well on it's way to getting healed up.

Now there is a downside and an upside to getting your fun bits poked. Due to the location, I can't have 'fun' for about 2-3 weeks. After that it's rubbers only, oral included in that activities list. After about 2-21/2 months, regular skin to skin sex can happen. of course at that point you'll want to stretch out a bit. The small starter jewelry is not as pleasurable as the larger stuff. Which leads me to the upside to getting your fun bits poked. Increased everything! This particular piercing is great for both him and her. Orgasms are deeper and last longer in my case and for her, can we say hello to mister gspot!

I have to say on a a woman, I've always thought a clitoral piercing looked sexy, even more so now. I understand that it is in fact either a VCH, HCH or a triangle that I had seen in the past and do not include the clit at all. I'm sure it's still an eye opener getting done but at least there's no risk of nerve damage in a very very important spot. Give it a thought girls, just let it simmer for a bit. It would drive me wild if you asked me to take you to get it done.

Always on the loosing side :(

It seems to be attracted to me like a magnet, loosing that is. Just came back from Vegas and now I'm trying to get back to a regular routine. Both because I'll feel better physically but also so that I can try to forget what didn't happen.

Vegas is the city of sin, the city of excess and the city of no holds barred outright do what whatever the fuck you want. So why is it I still couldn't just do whatever the fuck I wanted?! I met a neighbor down there by fluke and she had introduced me to two of her friends that live down there. One was single and apparently liked the company of men, OK she was easy! The other was married but would sleep with almost anyone. Both were cute and we went out a couple of times but I couldn't get any vibes from either of them. I had an awesome hotel room right on the strip and all 7 nights I slept by myself!

I couldn't bring myself to call the number on one of those cards that are practically thrown at you at every corner. Girls girls girls everywhere all waiting to meet you......for a price. Then there are the other tourists as well, groups of women out together on a stagette trip and primed to just let go and party, do things that they wouldn't do back home in a million years but because they are away, it's exciting. Well nothing there either! Other people I know have one night stands, some on a regular basis! I can't even bring myself to pay for one! lol.

Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I just suck at reading body language. Maybe I'm just too intimidating, yeah that's the one I'll go with. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think I'm a really good looking guy. I've been told I'm a really good looking guy. From what I can tell I seem to fall into one of two camps with the majority of women. I'm either really hot or really....not, there isn't an in between which really limits my success with most women, at least that's my impression.

For as long as I can remember it seems that women that I'm attracted to are not attracted to me and the kicker is also the reverse, the women that are attracted to me, I'm not attracted to them. Let me tell you, It is such a nerve wracking cycle to be in.

Oh yeah as far as the loosing side is concerned, I did mention I just came back from Vegas. Time to start saving again :(