Oh! how much can change in a matter of hours

The phone rang about 9:30am. It was the HR person from one of the places I had interviewed at. She asked me a couple of house cleaning questions, if I was still interested, confirmed how much I was looking for that kind of stuff. She then asked if I would be available later in the day if they needed to get in touch with me. I assured her I would. Once the call ended I began to try and pull my hair out! I'm already bald so it was a fruitless attempt but you understand how jacked up I was. I was reaching the end of my sanity and something was going to break. If it was going to happen, now would be a good time.

The phone rang again later in the afternoon, around 4:30pm. It was the same girl that called earlier that day. I was hoping for it, I was ready for it and sure enough those sweet words were said to me, "we would like to extend the offer to you". What an immense load off my brain those few words had. No more wading through postings of jobs that most likely weren't real jobs at all. No more sending resumes to postings that would undoubtedly go unanswered. But most of all, I now had a direction to go towards and a goal that I could own.

Now I was let in on a couple of the perks during the interview, and those really peaked my interest but she went over them again, with the addition of a couple of other gems and literally blew me away. Salary was non-negotiable, they gave me exactly what I asked for. Full benefits, dollar for dollar RSP matching, stock options, bonuses, tuition reimbursement, the works!

I feel this is going to be a good move for me. I'm not working downtown anymore but rather in the suburbs just North of my place. I'll need to drive there and back so it's back to commuting again, although it is going against morning traffic so it's not too bad, I have done it before.

I'm definitely going to have to get A/C in my next car though.

It's spring but it doesn't feel like it....

So today is the first day of spring. I so couldn't wait any longer even though it really doesn't mean the pool's gonna open in the next few days or anything. I'm just that little bit happier that winter has come to an end and that warmer weather is coming sooner than later.

The progress on the work side of things hasn't gone as well as I had hoped. Those six, yes six, interviews I had a few weeks ago have not produced a thing. Not one of them has called me back or sent an offer. That was a real kick in the balls when I finally accepted that nothing is going to come from that flurry. I had pulled back from sending out more resumes as I was so convinced that something was going to come so now it's back to finding posts and sending more resumes out.

Lately though I've really started to think whether or not I want to continue with computers. I mean, I've been in the biz for going on 15+ years. Either working for myself, someone else or just being the friend that knows computers. I noticed about 4 years into my business that computers were starting to loose their allure they once had for me. 2 years after that I shut down the business. That was shortly after I started training at the gym. Lot's of changes going on back then. Looking back now they were all but the tip of the iceberg of changes that were to come.

I had come to the conclusion that I after the last contract, I was going to go to RMT school. After researching it though, talking with friends and some people in the biz, I determined that it wouldn't be the best choice. It's been 7 years now training hard and getting results to show for it and some friends of mine have said that I should get into personal training, that I do a good job of getting them motivated and on the right path towards their goals. That may be the path that I go down but I am leery as the money in the start is not all that good. In my hometown if you aren't pulling in at least $50K you're going to have a hard time getting by. From what I understand starting in personal training will pull in about $20K. That would be about enough to pay my rent and that's it.

I'll have to do some more research and call around to places before I make a decision.

a different kind of change..

I met a girl that lives in the building over summer last year, the last time I was unemployed. I'd go down to the pool almost everyday and get some sun. She was on a staycation at the time and she was spending some time poolside as well. She's one of those really outgoing personable people. The kind that can make friends anywhere she goes. I kind of envy that, wishing I could pull the same thing off but it really isn't me. We're both believers of the MBTI and where she scored extrovert, I clearly scored introvert.

Introverts hardly ever make the news and it's the extroverts that love the spotlight. She's pointed out that she can easily go out to a bar alone and make new friends there without a problem. I myself wouldn't go out to a bar alone. I tried it a couple of times but it didn't work out. For introverts to go out to a bar with more than 2 or 3 friends becomes exhausting. We can only take it for a short while and then we have to leave and go somewhere a little less 'busy'. Also adding in that I'm not really a drinker anymore and there's one more reason to skip going to a bar in the first place!

I've known in some way I was an introvert even before I knew about the MBTI. It's kept me to myself and in some situations, pushing people away. There is a clear explanation for why I've been single or so long. It takes a heck of a lot of effort and energy for me to meet new people and for some, mostly extroverts, they don't understand why. Instead they assume that I'm antisocial or just being moody and It's not that at all. For extroverts, the same pull or need to meet new people and always be out doing something with other people is the exact same pull and need that introverts feel but it is instead to be alone or doing things one-on-one in a quiet surroundings. To do the opposite of what your nature is takes effort and energy.

It is the current place I find my life in that is making me take note of this particular trait. Extroverts are more often more successful than introverts in almost every area of life. Career, relationships, personal happiness those parts of life. As I said most introverts are looked at as being antisocial and antisocial people are not often invited back to a party. I've hopped from one job to another, never staying very long and never making a true home for myself in what it was I was doing. I've had so many jobs in my life that I can do all sorts of things. I've become very self sufficient and don't often need to ask anyones help with things. Which is another aspect that looks good on paper but in real life, is not so good, I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Jack of all trades, master of none'.

I'm tiring of being an introvert as it's not getting me what I want for my life. It's contributed to keeping me single, it's kept me alone without very many friends and it's kept me from finding true happiness. It's a difficult thing to take on but changing from an introvert to an extrovert can be done. Or at least becoming a suitable facsimile of an extrovert at least. I can just imagine it feeling like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it just won't feel right at all but I think it's the only way to go about it. I read a quote about an hour ago and it said; "In order to change, something has to change" and to be honest, it truly is that simple if you think about it.

Now I have to determine how much I want that change to happen and how much I am willing to pay for it.

Something to share...

Here is something that was sent to me. It was one of those emails, yo know the ones that's forwarded to everyone and their uncle. There's a list of a hundred email addresses at the top and it takes five minutes just to scroll down to the body, yeah one of those.

Once I read it though I felt it was important info that should be shared, so here it is. Share it yourself with those you care about and love.

NURSE'S HEART ATTACK EXPERIENCE

I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. Please read, pay attention, and send it on!

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read..

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack.. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.

'I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation--the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.

1 . Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics' and if you can take an aspirin, ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER. You are a hazard to others on the road.

Do NOT have your panicked husband drive who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

Do NOT call your doctor he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

*Please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends (male & female) who you care about!

Anticipation.....

The past few weeks has been rather interesting regarding the job front. I've had 6 interviews in the past 2 weeks, five of which happened in one week! Every single one of them went really really well, as far as I could tell. Now I have to wait to see if they felt the same way.

It would really be nice to have multiple offers all come in at the same time for once. Just having the ability to choose where I would like to go and have a little bargaining power to boot would be awesome.

Let's see now. There was the communications company that liked my Video Conferencing background. Then there was the online sex search company that was looking for a network admin assistant. They are doing a whole new roll out upgrading all of their backbone to new hardware and platforms. That project alone sounds interesting. Not really conducive to my ongoing personal recovery but it's a job and I'll be working with the computer hardware not the website per se. Next up is a consumer collections company looking for an onsite tech support/ network admin person. The reporting manager is located in Vancouver so there would be no one looking over my shoulder all day long. I prefer that then the thought of being micromanaged. I was contacted rather shortly after updating my Monster.ca resume by a placement company looking to fill a video conferencing specialist for Direct Energy. This role sounds really fun. I'd be looking after the video conferencing equipment and technical questions as well as their A/V equipment. See I knew all those years of DJ'ing and playing with big speakers would pay off at some point! A few weeks ago I was contacted by OpenText, a software company. They are looking for a tech support guy to add to the team. I was contacted on Friday late afternoon for a Monday meeting. That one went really well. They said hat they don't do more than one interview and there were only three people they were meeting with, me being the top candidate. I have all of the skills they need and got along pretty well with the two managers that I met with. I know that's only five but there were a couple of phone based interviews that didn't appear to go anywhere. There's also Rogers tech support. Not really my first choice but they are hiring so I did submit my resume.

So as you can see there are a bunch of prospects on the go at this point and you can also see what's causing the anticipation that something is going to pop pretty soon. It's the waiting that is driving me nuts.