Beware....time for a venting

OK that's it, I've decided that dating websites are a complete waste of time. They're great if you own the site and like a vampire, suck the cash out of your members while you laugh deviously rubbing your greedy little hands together. But being a member plain old sucks. The sad thing about why this sucks is, I believe, caused by the members themselves! Allow me to explain.

Lately I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone, in the online world at least, and have sent lot's of emails out to many women including those that I wasn't particularly physically attracted to, I know that sounds a bit shallow but physical attraction is the first one to get your attention now isn't it?!? The messages I've been sending out have been rather light and fun and always leaving an open question about something in their profile.To my utter amazement I have not received one reply back from any of them. Now I'm not trying to be stuck up or egotistical but I think I'm a pretty good looking guy. My profile is written in a way that is very down to earth and easy going, partly because one of my female friends helped me write it so it's girl approved already. I have an OK picture up, not the best in my opinion but apparently according to pic rating sites, it rates pretty high.

This has made me think long and hard about why there's no reply's. My epiphany came when I looked at myself and my lifestyle. I think the reason that people, and not just women here, is all about comfort zone. They are just so stuck in their routine that they don't want to have anyone come into their life and mess up what they have going. I mean someone comes into your life and you have to check in with them and see if it's ok that you go out with your friends. Or you won't be able to do that thing you love to do because your new friend isn't into that at all, it's thought like that that I feel are the culprit. I may be naive and all with not so much relationship experience under my belt but I think that a relationship shouldn't mean the end of all the things that make you who you are. Your new friend found you attractive because of who you are so keep doing the things that makes you who you are. When you find that someone that accepts you have a life outside of your relationship and supports you in your passions (and vice versa), that's when you know you've found the one. And that is what I am looking for.

So a new challenge to those on dating sites looking for the 'one'. Girls, grow a pair and respond to the guy that messaged you. If you think they're cute and you like their profile honestly ask yourself what is holding you back from starting a conversation. It may turn into nothing, they might have the personality of a dead fish. Then again they could be something beyond words. You'll never know unless you try.

Rant complete, I feel better now ;)

For the sake of change.

Part of my journey lately has brought me to a place where I realized that I just have way too much shit. There's stuff all over the place, albeit it's a small bachelor apartment so things can get pretty cramped rather quickly. But looking at the whole, there was just to much stuff that was doing nothing but taking up space. 

Example, I bought cabinets for under my desk from ikea a few years ago for the sole purpose (now that I think about it) of holding more crap that I didn't have a place for prior to buying said cabinets! Those cabinets were acting as legs for my computer desk and sat on either side. The computer desk was another gargantuous piece that did an awesome job of being a perfect dumping ground for all the day to day bits and pieces. Things would build up on there until it got to a point that I just couldn't take it anymore. It would then take me hours to go through all the papers and crap, figure out and sort the important stuff from the stuff that should have gone to the trash to begin with.

This discovery (which was right in front of my face) lead me to make a big decision. That big decision was to pull as close to a Zen move as I could. I went and bought a new computer desk. One that was much smaller (and much nicer I might add). The old desk was summarily dismantled and chucked as far as humanly possible (I'm rather strong so it did go pretty far!). I then rearranged all my furniture putting my bed (which I love, it's a new Queen, firm with a pillowtop mmmmm, I digress), against the wall the computer desk used to be. The new computer desk I put against the wall the bed used to be. Are you with me still? Can you picture that? OK. Result, I now have a football field in my apartment and I have no idea what I'm going to do with it lol!

Oh, I forgot to mention. I also had -because I'm a guy, a very large 53" RCA  projection TV, yes as I said I live in a bachelor, yes I know just go with it. I've had it for years and it has done me really really well. GONE! An ad up on craigslist and in 1 day, I had almost 25+ responses. Free things always seem to find a home rather quickly. I ended up giving it away to a family that was 'apparently' on disability. After the said person that was supposedly on disability was one of the people that showed up, I had reservations of the validity of the claim. But too late, I'm a man of my word. I rather quickly replaced that with a 40" Samsung LCD. Now that I must say made a huge difference in the amount of space that was recovered.

Now here's the rub. With all these 'things' being in my life for so long. They've become a part of me in a way. I realized this when I gave away the TV. I was super jazzed about the new LCD don't get me wrong. But watching that old TV go out the door with people that I didn't know, hurt a little. I understand though that that pain is a sign of change and it's good for you. It means that you were in a rut and doing the right thing by making a change. It was a reminder, to me at least, to keep pushing forward and not just sitting back becoming complacent.  The more you can get used to it the better off you are, it keeps you flexible should an awesome opportunity come along. 

So here's challenge to you (whoever is reading this), go through your closets, search your basements and clean out the garage. If you come across things that you haven't touched for at least a year, either sell it or toss it. I think you'll like the feeling. Maybe not a first but you will after, I promise. 


Going through this whole process reminded me of one of my favourite quotes from one of my all time favourite movies, Fight Club. Brad Pitt's character tells Ed Norton's character, "the things you own, end up owning you" and oh how they do!

Now what to do with the football field?

PS. Here's a lifehacker idea for all the clotheshorse people out there. Put all your clothes on hangers in your closet and hook them on from behind, you know, the hard way. At the end of the year go through the closet and look for any hangers that are still hooked from behind. That tells you you haven't worn it in a year and most likely never will wear again. Do yourself a favour, go donate it to the goodwill.

A 180 is an understatement....

I started this blog as a kind of self therapy. Many of the books I've read all tout the same advice about writing down your day to day activities so that you can look back at your own personal progress. That would have worked had I posted a bit more often than I have been. I never really was much of a writer -high school English class was not one of my strongest subjects. I guess I was partly inspired by some of the other blogs out there that I had been reading (thanks criseyde). Reading and wishing that I had such an interesting life that I could share with the world in some way. What is it they say about one mans trash? Lately I've come to feel though that I do have an interesting life and believe me it keeps getting even more interesting every day, there are lots of things that I really don't think I should put up here lol. I really think a turning point came after I read Randy Pausch's book (The Last Lecture) -yes you can watch the video online but ask a book reader and they will always say the book was better. Maybe it was just really good timing, maybe my mind was in just the right place when I read it but it woke something up inside me, it erased the apprehension, the fear. OK fine it lit a fire under my ass!

My earlier posts were laced with me trying to change my usual approach to dating (total failure on all levels if you haven't guessed) and finally getting 'in the game' as it were. How embarrassing it all looks now. The change in outlook on my life have pulled a total 180. I am no where near the same person I was back then in many ways and I think all of those changes were for the better. No longer am I the shy one that drops his head when he sees a cutie on the subway. No more am I the self conscious guy that doubts himself all the friggin time. I remember seeing a show on TV, I can't remember what it was all about but there was a section about this young guy who needed some cash for school -don't let your mind wander now, stay with me. He saw an ad for a modeling position or maybe a friend suggested it, it's not quite clear. When he arrived at the studio it turned out to be a sketching class and he was to be the nude model. I remember at the time how mortified I would have felt if that were me, no friggin way would I have gone through with that! But I find now that I would probably be just fine with it, I'd probably enjoy it! That's the level of change that I'm talking about, a complete 180.

I'm still training hard, still working towards my goal of getting on stage next year (there's another thing that used to freak me out, getting on stage in a teeny tiny little gitch that doesn't really leave much to the imagination). I've just really started offseason training so that means more food heavy! heavy! heavy! and lots of epsom salt baths! As I said, I've only just started offseason and I'm jazzed to say that I'm pretty much right back where I left off last offseason benching 315lbs, still squating and deadlifting 405 but those are getting easier each day. My weight is currently sitting at 201lbs and I intend  to stay as lean as possible this year. The leaner I am come preseason, the easier it is to get lean for the stage and the less stress I have to endure. It's a win on all levels.

If you have any questions on training, diet or supplements, please don't hesitate to write me. I may not have all the answers or the answer that you want to hear but I swear I won't bullshit you.

Anyways, that's all for now. Maybe we'll bump into each other over at Wicked (oh, but that's another story).....

A.