The aftermath

Well Xmas has come and gone, new years too. I managed to escape without too much damage done to the waistline. The wallet however didn't fare as well lol. It's expected though with that time of year. I didn't buy all that much for people really when looking at what some others bought for family and friends. L got me some Lulu Lemon pants for the gym. Really  stretchy so they are really good for leg day. Getting deep down in a squat with no resistance on the thighs is a nice change. She also got me a facial lol. Yeah I went and had a facial while she had her Mani/Pedi -which I should add that I had one of those earlier on with her as well. I figured why do the girls get all the pampering. Why can't I go and get pampered now and then! Truth be told, I'd go again no problem.

It's been a little while since I made any big purchases for myself, the last being some Ikea furniture to replace the TV stand and some shelving. I went back to Ikea on Sunday to specifically grab some picture frames for some posters of the Holstee manifesto I bought. One for me and one for a friend for Xmas. The problem is I didn't come out with just those now didn't I! No I went and spent some cash and picked up some other odds and ends for my place, which is in constant development into my ideal home (minus the walkout to the ocean view, still working on that one). I'm OK with what I bought though, you have to treat yourself now and then for all the hard work that you do. The real kicker here is the two frames I bought I discovered were both damaged! Now I have to go back and exchange them another day. I must behave myself when I do is all I'm saying lol.

The year in review is proving a fun challenge (that's sarcasm if you didn't notice lol) I figured out how to get me started though and that's to point form all the things I could remember going on all throughout last year. Now I need to put them in some chronological order and expand on the details to string it all together. The key word for the year I came across was 'experiences' as it definitely was the year for them. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to post it up here or not, it all depends on how detailed I get with names and dates -this is supposed to me somewhat anonymous after all. We'll see when I'm done.

The Girl

L and I have definitely hit a rhythm. At least I feel like we have. We are closer now and are getting closer as each day passes. Some feel we're moving too fast but I'm just going with the flow of it. I admit I was  moving pretty quick in the beginning but have since pulled back a bit from any pressure on L. She's still getting over her divorce which I am sure is not easy, I see it in her eyes and how she talks about it. I wish there was something I could do but only time will fix that. Besides the best thing I think I could do right now is just be there and listen. I must say though that she is helping me just as much. Sometimes I can be a tough nut, some have gone as far as saying stubborn. L likes to talk things out and get down to brass tacks as they say and she's making me think about things that I haven't wanted to think about even though I really need too. She may not realize her effects. I think it's time some changes were made with the one area that's been a tough one for me and that's career.

Training

What with the Xmas holidays and all I did end up tacking on about 5 lbs. Some of it muscle but I think also some fat. I know it's inevitable but I really want to stay as lean as I can. One good think about it all is that people are noticing a difference. My friend and coach pointed out a change to the post workout shake protocol in that I should start adding either Malto or Waxy as an extra simple carb should help give me a bigger boost. He specifically pointed out my delts which have been a sore spot for me in the past, they've always been a hard gain for me. He was very happy with he gains over this off season there and said there was a "night and day difference from last year", call me giddy.

I think one of the big contributors to the increase in size has also to do with the change in  training patterns as much as the diet changes. We've gone from powerlifting approach to more of a bodybuilding approach. Dropping overall weight down to around 80% max yet upping the reps and sets. I now do 4-5 sets of 12-15 reps with practically everything except deadlifts, the back wouldn't survive. My legs have grown considerably since doing that. 4 working sets at 315lbs for 12 reps gets the blood moving and leaves me with a pump like I've never felt before. The joints prefer it too as they aren't getting overworked. Chest day, shoulders, back it doesn't matter, they have all seen significant growth and I am so happy with the progress. Makes me wish I happened along this a few years ago.

That's all I got for now....

Let the flurry of comments proceed (lol)

hummin' along ;)

The girl....

The interesting thing with life is that sometimes it hears what your needs are and delivers them. It's been just over four weeks since L and I met for that first coffee date. In that short time we've shared so much it feels like it's been a lot longer. I used to think when people were saying that "it will just happen" or "you'll just know" that they were full of shit. But this experience is slowly changing my perceptions. We both just feel so comfortable around each other and the level of passion between us is out of this world. There's definitely something here with which only time will tell the outcome. I know what I would like the outcome to be and I am pretty sure I know what she is wanting as well. I guess we'll just leave it to go how it goes. I'm sure it will work out for the best.

Work...Grrrr!

Work is driving me nuts!! I'm stuck in a job that has no growth potential at all right now. I was so happy when I landed the position as I was fed the usual crap about excellent opportunities. The pay they offered too didn't hurt. On the bright side of things, L has offered to send my resume to some contacts of hers. There happens to be a company (conveniently located around the corner from her office) that they are friends with the owners. With any luck I might be able to get in with an up and coming new company that has definite growth potential. Lately I've also have been giving some more thought to going a totally different direction, towards personal training. I've thought about it in the past when I was looking for work. At that point it was more of a 'just while I'm looking' kind of thing. My concerns are with regards to money. There really isn't that much unless you are in a 'trainer to the stars' kind of situation. But it's something that I enjoy doing and can see myself looking forward to getting up in the morning to do. That point has it's scary part too though. It's definitely my passion and I am so scared that doing it every day may take away the passion side of it and turn it into something I despise. I would hate for that to happen.

Training stuff

The Christmas break was not too bad considering I was on a massive sugar rush for about two weeks. It's going to take about a week for my blood sugar to come back down to normal levels lol. It's really opened my eyes as to how much simple sugars really effect me. I entered the break at 195lbs and this morning I weighed in at 204lbs. It's back to eating clean and light now and all the sugary goodness has been packed away for another day. I should be back down to the upper 190's in about a week or two. The interesting side of this is that I still have pretty good vascularity and I STILL can see my serratus anterior muscles which I've always used as an indicator of how lean I am getting while dieting. It seemed that my strength actually dropped off a bit while I was high on sugar. I attributed this to inflammation though as things were rather achy. Shoulders, elbows and knees were a bit sore. I'm sure that once the blood sugar gets back down and the fibre goes up things will get back to normal for me in that area. In the meantime it's ice, pensaid and massage to the rescue.

Next time....

I've been given a challenge of writing my "year in review" as L and her friends all do this. I've never done it myself heck I never considered myself a writer at all. I started this blog as a way of getting things off my chest and mind. I'm going to give this a go and see what comes out. In any event it will make me think about what happened to me this past year. Could be fun, scary and exciting but definitely enlightening.

keep training..

Warming up and carbing down....

DATING STUFF

Well now this has become interesting. As you know I've been up on OKCupid for quite a while now, with not much success really. I had written someone last year as her profile said that she worked in the online dating industry. I recall her profile stating that she was married and was just on the site for research and such. At the time I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that there wasn't much action happening so I wrote her to get her opinion of my profile and her views on the online dating topic. She wrote back and gave me some pointers, everything pretty much positive and that was that.

Fast forward to today and things are a little different now. She's divorced. She wrote me the other day and we started chatting back and forth. She had just come back from Maui and was going to get back to me when she had come back down to reality. Yesterday we chatted for a bit and I suggested coffee (typical first date, don't judge me on originality ;) ). We met and had an amazing conversation. We're very much alike in how we think and how we communicate. We went back to her place and continued to chat for a bit. Now before you think what I think you are thinking, STOP! Get your head out of the gutter. A friend of hers was going to be stopping in in a bit so we agreed that it was time for me to go, I had things I needed to get done anyway. She walked me to the door and the goodbye kiss went on for a little longer than a goodbye kiss normally does. I'm sure if her friend wasn't standing outside the front door (which is made of glass btw) things would have heated up a bit more.

We made the best out of a slightly embarrassing situation, said our hellos and L and I agreed to get in touch soon so that we can set something up.

Looks like I'm going to have a full weekend coming up ;)

TRAINING STUFF

OK so here we go. Offseason is underway, has been for 5 weeks now. The power is starting to come back again. Bench is back to 315lb and 365lb shouldn't be that far off. I can see a 405lb bench later this year.

We are taking a little different approach after looking at last years progress.I already knew I was carb sensitive so I pulled it back last year. I still had pasta pretty much everyday but portioned out the serving. 

This year all starchy carbs are out. Nothing but fibrous carbs. Simply put, fruit. We are taking a closer look at GI and GL influence and the starchy carbs just spike the blood sugar too much where the fibrous carbs don't. It's hard to believe but a serving of shredded wheat will spike your blood sugar as effectively as a spoon of sugar! So much for whole wheat being the healthy choice. An apple even though it is sweet, because of the fibre in it does not spike your blood sugar (might I suggest Honey Crisp apples, friggin awesome). Stack the apple with a good protein and fat source and you reduce the insulin spike even further. I'm still getting around 30gm of carbs per meal but they are of a better, more valuable kind. The only time I would have a simple carb would be right after training when you want an insulin spike (insulin pushes nutrients, proteins and glycogen into the cells). For that treat I always have a small bar of dark chocolate. I'm a bit of a chocolate fiend, especially 70% Lindt dark. The cocao has other antioxidant properties to it as well so it's win win.

K that's all for now. I got a pot of chilli to put on, laundry to get up from the basement and a couch that needs sitting on.

Any questions?






(UPDATE)
Ok that was hilarious! I pulled the laundry up and was about to get the chilli on. I figured I should text L and let her know I had a great time and that we should set something up for Saturday. As I was typing my message, she messaged me! She beat me by 5 seconds! K' plans are set, dinner is at my place and the signature sesame lemongrass salmon is the surprise menu. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Another swing at bat....

So I gotta get back in the game again. Get back up on the horse as it were and start getting more social again. It's not like I had cooled down all that much but towards the end of my preseason dieting I was starting to get pretty tired most of the time. It limits what you can do rather than what you want to do, sleep becomes a very scarce commodity and a high priority which you will grab whenever you can. There's that and of course the breakup didn't do too much for my overall motivation to get out. So I pulled back and took a bit of a rest. Enough of that, time to go and have some fun again.

As for the diet this year, my last week, when the end was so close, I ended up getting sick. I never get sick, once a year at most which is a bonus. The timing just sucked this time around really. So my diet was cut by one week, oh well no biggie I guess. It's not like I was going to drop another 10lbs in that last week or anything. I also wasn't competing this year either so there wasn't a dire need to get absolutely shredded. I decided to take the week off work and the gym and start getting carbs back in the diet again. Getting as much sleep as I could and recovering from the previous 15 weeks of hard work and bland chicken, mmmmm beef.

All in all the diet was good this year. I accomplished my goals and found out that I can go harder and deeper than I ever had gone before. I started out at 215lbs and ended up at 173lbs. Each year getting leaner and leaner while also gaining more mass, shape and overall balance. Win win no matter how you look at it.

So now I find that I am getting back to my normal self again. The off-season has already started and so far, just 3 weeks in, I am seeing the rebound kick in big time and I am so pumped about this years potential. I'm already back up to 315lbs on my bench and 405lbs on the squat! As it was last year, it's going to be a conservative off-season. Just like the pre-season diet everything gets measured so that I can keep from getting too big too fast. Putting on too much in the off-season simply makes the following pre-season all that much harder. I've learnt that you can only drop so much in a pre-season before your body pushes back and says enough! It's best to be smart about it and play the long game. Build your goal over a long time and the results will be all the more sweeter.

Another goal of mine was to take control of my finances and get myself out from under this bullshit credit card debt that I have. I've lied to myself for quite a while saying that I was working hard to pay it off but I see how full of shit I was. Low and behold the universe seems to hear these honest cries for help and provides it just when you need it most. I've heard over and over again about budgeting but I never did get into the habit of it, until now. I came across a program called YNAB which is short for You Need A Budget. It's fairly basic but powerful in that it puts you in control of your spending. It has totally changed my life and it's only been two months since I started using it. I can't begin to describe how much more empowering it feels to finally be in control and know that I won't ever be caught short again. I highly recommend checking it out.


There's more to chat about but I think I'll close this one off for now.


A.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.”—Jim Rohn

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2011/11/06/the-single-most-important-mindset-shift/ 

The only constant is change and sometimes change sucks

So it's been quite some time since I've been here. I never meant to ditch and run, life just got in the way. Sorry about that.

Well it was an amazing summer, one I will not soon forget. Alas it came to and end just as soon as the colder weather crept in. I should have seen it coming from the start. She had just gotten out of a 13 year relationship 3 months before we met. She hadn't had enough time on her own to come to grips with what had just happened. The thing is, I feel both of us were taken by surprise by each other, not expecting what we got. It started out as just a casual hook up between two adults. But after a while, it turned into something else, something deeper.

She had to move back in with her parents and they live quite far away. Shortly after that and a week before my birthday was when we had "the talk". It wasn't the distance that was a problem, it was her unaddressed issues that surfaced and needed dealing with which drove us apart.

I was confused for a while, numb really. It's only after you loose something or someone that you truly realize what they mean to you. By then it's too late. So now it's picking up the pieces and focussing myself on my work and my training. It hasn't been easy but I sure as hell won't give up

"Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin." ~ Denise McCluggage

W.

Oh! how much can change in a matter of hours

The phone rang about 9:30am. It was the HR person from one of the places I had interviewed at. She asked me a couple of house cleaning questions, if I was still interested, confirmed how much I was looking for that kind of stuff. She then asked if I would be available later in the day if they needed to get in touch with me. I assured her I would. Once the call ended I began to try and pull my hair out! I'm already bald so it was a fruitless attempt but you understand how jacked up I was. I was reaching the end of my sanity and something was going to break. If it was going to happen, now would be a good time.

The phone rang again later in the afternoon, around 4:30pm. It was the same girl that called earlier that day. I was hoping for it, I was ready for it and sure enough those sweet words were said to me, "we would like to extend the offer to you". What an immense load off my brain those few words had. No more wading through postings of jobs that most likely weren't real jobs at all. No more sending resumes to postings that would undoubtedly go unanswered. But most of all, I now had a direction to go towards and a goal that I could own.

Now I was let in on a couple of the perks during the interview, and those really peaked my interest but she went over them again, with the addition of a couple of other gems and literally blew me away. Salary was non-negotiable, they gave me exactly what I asked for. Full benefits, dollar for dollar RSP matching, stock options, bonuses, tuition reimbursement, the works!

I feel this is going to be a good move for me. I'm not working downtown anymore but rather in the suburbs just North of my place. I'll need to drive there and back so it's back to commuting again, although it is going against morning traffic so it's not too bad, I have done it before.

I'm definitely going to have to get A/C in my next car though.

It's spring but it doesn't feel like it....

So today is the first day of spring. I so couldn't wait any longer even though it really doesn't mean the pool's gonna open in the next few days or anything. I'm just that little bit happier that winter has come to an end and that warmer weather is coming sooner than later.

The progress on the work side of things hasn't gone as well as I had hoped. Those six, yes six, interviews I had a few weeks ago have not produced a thing. Not one of them has called me back or sent an offer. That was a real kick in the balls when I finally accepted that nothing is going to come from that flurry. I had pulled back from sending out more resumes as I was so convinced that something was going to come so now it's back to finding posts and sending more resumes out.

Lately though I've really started to think whether or not I want to continue with computers. I mean, I've been in the biz for going on 15+ years. Either working for myself, someone else or just being the friend that knows computers. I noticed about 4 years into my business that computers were starting to loose their allure they once had for me. 2 years after that I shut down the business. That was shortly after I started training at the gym. Lot's of changes going on back then. Looking back now they were all but the tip of the iceberg of changes that were to come.

I had come to the conclusion that I after the last contract, I was going to go to RMT school. After researching it though, talking with friends and some people in the biz, I determined that it wouldn't be the best choice. It's been 7 years now training hard and getting results to show for it and some friends of mine have said that I should get into personal training, that I do a good job of getting them motivated and on the right path towards their goals. That may be the path that I go down but I am leery as the money in the start is not all that good. In my hometown if you aren't pulling in at least $50K you're going to have a hard time getting by. From what I understand starting in personal training will pull in about $20K. That would be about enough to pay my rent and that's it.

I'll have to do some more research and call around to places before I make a decision.

a different kind of change..

I met a girl that lives in the building over summer last year, the last time I was unemployed. I'd go down to the pool almost everyday and get some sun. She was on a staycation at the time and she was spending some time poolside as well. She's one of those really outgoing personable people. The kind that can make friends anywhere she goes. I kind of envy that, wishing I could pull the same thing off but it really isn't me. We're both believers of the MBTI and where she scored extrovert, I clearly scored introvert.

Introverts hardly ever make the news and it's the extroverts that love the spotlight. She's pointed out that she can easily go out to a bar alone and make new friends there without a problem. I myself wouldn't go out to a bar alone. I tried it a couple of times but it didn't work out. For introverts to go out to a bar with more than 2 or 3 friends becomes exhausting. We can only take it for a short while and then we have to leave and go somewhere a little less 'busy'. Also adding in that I'm not really a drinker anymore and there's one more reason to skip going to a bar in the first place!

I've known in some way I was an introvert even before I knew about the MBTI. It's kept me to myself and in some situations, pushing people away. There is a clear explanation for why I've been single or so long. It takes a heck of a lot of effort and energy for me to meet new people and for some, mostly extroverts, they don't understand why. Instead they assume that I'm antisocial or just being moody and It's not that at all. For extroverts, the same pull or need to meet new people and always be out doing something with other people is the exact same pull and need that introverts feel but it is instead to be alone or doing things one-on-one in a quiet surroundings. To do the opposite of what your nature is takes effort and energy.

It is the current place I find my life in that is making me take note of this particular trait. Extroverts are more often more successful than introverts in almost every area of life. Career, relationships, personal happiness those parts of life. As I said most introverts are looked at as being antisocial and antisocial people are not often invited back to a party. I've hopped from one job to another, never staying very long and never making a true home for myself in what it was I was doing. I've had so many jobs in my life that I can do all sorts of things. I've become very self sufficient and don't often need to ask anyones help with things. Which is another aspect that looks good on paper but in real life, is not so good, I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Jack of all trades, master of none'.

I'm tiring of being an introvert as it's not getting me what I want for my life. It's contributed to keeping me single, it's kept me alone without very many friends and it's kept me from finding true happiness. It's a difficult thing to take on but changing from an introvert to an extrovert can be done. Or at least becoming a suitable facsimile of an extrovert at least. I can just imagine it feeling like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it just won't feel right at all but I think it's the only way to go about it. I read a quote about an hour ago and it said; "In order to change, something has to change" and to be honest, it truly is that simple if you think about it.

Now I have to determine how much I want that change to happen and how much I am willing to pay for it.

Something to share...

Here is something that was sent to me. It was one of those emails, yo know the ones that's forwarded to everyone and their uncle. There's a list of a hundred email addresses at the top and it takes five minutes just to scroll down to the body, yeah one of those.

Once I read it though I felt it was important info that should be shared, so here it is. Share it yourself with those you care about and love.

NURSE'S HEART ATTACK EXPERIENCE

I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. Please read, pay attention, and send it on!

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read..

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack.. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.

'I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation--the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.

1 . Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics' and if you can take an aspirin, ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER. You are a hazard to others on the road.

Do NOT have your panicked husband drive who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

Do NOT call your doctor he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

*Please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends (male & female) who you care about!

Anticipation.....

The past few weeks has been rather interesting regarding the job front. I've had 6 interviews in the past 2 weeks, five of which happened in one week! Every single one of them went really really well, as far as I could tell. Now I have to wait to see if they felt the same way.

It would really be nice to have multiple offers all come in at the same time for once. Just having the ability to choose where I would like to go and have a little bargaining power to boot would be awesome.

Let's see now. There was the communications company that liked my Video Conferencing background. Then there was the online sex search company that was looking for a network admin assistant. They are doing a whole new roll out upgrading all of their backbone to new hardware and platforms. That project alone sounds interesting. Not really conducive to my ongoing personal recovery but it's a job and I'll be working with the computer hardware not the website per se. Next up is a consumer collections company looking for an onsite tech support/ network admin person. The reporting manager is located in Vancouver so there would be no one looking over my shoulder all day long. I prefer that then the thought of being micromanaged. I was contacted rather shortly after updating my Monster.ca resume by a placement company looking to fill a video conferencing specialist for Direct Energy. This role sounds really fun. I'd be looking after the video conferencing equipment and technical questions as well as their A/V equipment. See I knew all those years of DJ'ing and playing with big speakers would pay off at some point! A few weeks ago I was contacted by OpenText, a software company. They are looking for a tech support guy to add to the team. I was contacted on Friday late afternoon for a Monday meeting. That one went really well. They said hat they don't do more than one interview and there were only three people they were meeting with, me being the top candidate. I have all of the skills they need and got along pretty well with the two managers that I met with. I know that's only five but there were a couple of phone based interviews that didn't appear to go anywhere. There's also Rogers tech support. Not really my first choice but they are hiring so I did submit my resume.

So as you can see there are a bunch of prospects on the go at this point and you can also see what's causing the anticipation that something is going to pop pretty soon. It's the waiting that is driving me nuts.

A week on..

So it's been just coming up on a week since I finished the contract role and have been looking for something. There was a flurry of postings that I feverishly sent out resumes to but that was going back a few weeks. Lately there hasn't been too much posted but those that have I've sent to all the same. I've got my fingers crossed that I land something soon, hopefully sooner than the last period of 5 months! Apparently the job situation is better up here in Canada than it is in the US. I'm experiencing it here and if it is worse in th US, it must really suck pretty bad.

I will post if something comes up or if I give up and just go for internet porn star instead. I hear the money ain't too shabby.

On the gym side, offseason is coming to a close soon. I've made some pretty good gains this year and still managed to stay leaner than any offseason before. Currently sitting at 207lbs and still have vascularity in areas, a little softer but there is definite shape to the legs and back still. Delts have always been a stubborn part for me and I have to hit them really hard to get anything out of them. There is shape there though and I'm sure they'll pop out once I get on the lean side again. Personal bests this year all around. 405 on the flat bench, 315 on the incline bench, 495 on squat and deadlift so things are going the right direction. I should have been pushing myself a bit more earlier on I suppose. I started doing a higher rep routine this year and although I did get some great pumps and all, I think I suffered a bit in getting the weight up. I should have stuck with the power approach and kept the working sets to 6-8 reps for a max effort and dropped down from there while increasing the rep count. That approach gives you the best of both worlds and has worked for me all the previous years. It's still early days on my training so I'll just chalk it up as experience and focus on getting lean for summer.

I was supposed to compete this year but since work has gone south, I've had to cancel the show this year. If I magically land something in the next 2-3 weeks it may be back on again but it would be very hard as I wouldn't have all that much time to diet down in time for the show. I'm a firm believer that you go to a show prepared and ready to win. You don't give the judges a reason to take points away. I've seen some people on stage that don't look like they prepared for it at all. It kinda makes you wonder what they were thinking.

For all those that read my post on the 27th and had chuckle, and for all those that already have piercings of some kind, you'll understand this one. Getting piercings (or tattoo's) can become a bit of an addictive thing. It's not like we're into pain or anything but the rush of getting it done and then knowing you have something that not every has it's what's attractive (at least to me). With that said, the thought of getting my nipples done is now floating around in my head. Nothing huge and no hoops (CBR's is what they're called). Little barbells with small ends. I've seen pics and read stories and it all sounds good to me. I've just been doing some research on how it is received up on stage at competitions. From what I've read I'll most likely have to remove them for a show. I can get retainers to keep the hole and they don't show at all so it may be workable. Just letting the idea percolate for a bit.

Anyone else have any body mods done?

All just a bunch of hooey!

I was talking with my mum today going over all the stuff that's gone on over the past few days. She asked how I was doing since I found out at 4:30pm Friday that the contract that I was working under expires at 5:00pm that day. That's right I am now unemployed, yet again! F'ing Bullocks! So now I've been updating the resume, getting all the particulars of the last job down before I forget it all. Then I need to get myself back into interview shape again which is just as exhausting as looking for something to apply to get interviewed for in the first place. I like job hunting about as much as I like looking for a new apartment. They both suck in this city.

Anyway, back on topic. One thing my mum asked was whether I caught any of the awards shows, the golden globes or something like that. Now I think that all of this is bullshit. I have absolutely no time to spend watching a bunch of actors stand around and pat each other on the back "because they did such an awesome performance" {the previously quoted sentence is to be said in the most sarcastic tone possible}. Who I admire are those that save lives day in and day out, who risk their own lives protecting others while sacrificing their own safety. Doctors, paramedics, police and fire(people?). But you don't see them throwing millions of dollars towards a televised campfire singalong while all the winners gasp in amazement saying "I can't believe this, I can't believe they love me so much. It's such a dream come true!" {again more sarcastic tones required for the previous quote}.

I would really like to see all of those awards shows go the way of the 8 track tape. Gone and forgotten an unnecessary waste of time and money to inflate already too huge ego's.

Just a bunch of hooey!

Ouch......but only for a second.

OK, there's really no other way to get this started.

No other way to ease into this topic.

So, here we go.

I got my dick pierced! There I said it!

I can't say exactly what prompted me to go do this. It's not like I have a whole ton of piercing throughout my body. I used to have my left ear pierced when it was cool for a young guy to have it. I pulled it out when I started working corporate. Course nowadays it's perfectly acceptable for guys in a corporate world to have both ears pierced in addition to having huge diamond studs. The older folk may look a little oddly at them but they're on their way out towards retirement so it's of no consequence.

All I know is that I happened across a picture of what I got done, a frenum piercing, and something just clicked. I had seen other piercings like the PA (Prince Albert) and was never drawn to them at all, even in the slightest. I remember seeing a guy at the gym with one and in my mind I questioned his sanity. But once I saw that picture it took me less than a week before I had one of my own.

(Not a pic of me btw. I'd show you if we were friends though)

http://tattoo.about.com/cs/beginners/a/bltest21.htm

I'm sure you are wondering what the whole process was like so I'll do my best to describe it. Who knows, maybe when I'm through you might start thinking about getting it done (or girls, something like it) yourself.

If you've ever had anything pierced before, aside from ears using a gun (any piercer worth their salt will call that a non-piercing just so you know) I'm sure you already know 90% of the process. First the cleaning of the area, being straight and having another guy fondle your junk that isn't your doctor is a little on the odd side, but I had so much adrenaline and other stuff running through me that it didn't really matter too much. I was surprisingly nonchalant about it all. I'm sure he had seen quite a few peckers in his day as he said he had done a couple hundred of them, he himself having 5.

he sized me up for a barbell and we discussed placement. I suggested a little lower on the shaft which was fine, he just had to leave to get a longer bar so that it would fit. A short minute later he came back and marked the in and the out spots. I took a look and OK'd everything. On went the clamp which in stories I've read, people were saying that the clamp was the worst part of it. To me the clamp was nothing. he told me to take a deep breath and I felt the needle just touching the skin a bit which caught me off guard. before I had a chance to say anything about that the push came. For about 2 seconds I felt and intense sting. others have said like a bee sting that doesn't linger. I've never been stung so I can't relate. To me it felt exactly like I had been anticipating and nothing that was unbearable at all.

He went over the maintenance routine about keeping it clean and to use the LTFA method (leave it the fuck alone). I wash it out 3 times a day mornings and evenings with spectrogel. The afternoons were a tricky one until I read about using contact lens saline. A big bottle of that I take to the john and I can squirt it right in the piercing holes. It's only been 5 days and this thing is well on it's way to getting healed up.

Now there is a downside and an upside to getting your fun bits poked. Due to the location, I can't have 'fun' for about 2-3 weeks. After that it's rubbers only, oral included in that activities list. After about 2-21/2 months, regular skin to skin sex can happen. of course at that point you'll want to stretch out a bit. The small starter jewelry is not as pleasurable as the larger stuff. Which leads me to the upside to getting your fun bits poked. Increased everything! This particular piercing is great for both him and her. Orgasms are deeper and last longer in my case and for her, can we say hello to mister gspot!

I have to say on a a woman, I've always thought a clitoral piercing looked sexy, even more so now. I understand that it is in fact either a VCH, HCH or a triangle that I had seen in the past and do not include the clit at all. I'm sure it's still an eye opener getting done but at least there's no risk of nerve damage in a very very important spot. Give it a thought girls, just let it simmer for a bit. It would drive me wild if you asked me to take you to get it done.

Always on the loosing side :(

It seems to be attracted to me like a magnet, loosing that is. Just came back from Vegas and now I'm trying to get back to a regular routine. Both because I'll feel better physically but also so that I can try to forget what didn't happen.

Vegas is the city of sin, the city of excess and the city of no holds barred outright do what whatever the fuck you want. So why is it I still couldn't just do whatever the fuck I wanted?! I met a neighbor down there by fluke and she had introduced me to two of her friends that live down there. One was single and apparently liked the company of men, OK she was easy! The other was married but would sleep with almost anyone. Both were cute and we went out a couple of times but I couldn't get any vibes from either of them. I had an awesome hotel room right on the strip and all 7 nights I slept by myself!

I couldn't bring myself to call the number on one of those cards that are practically thrown at you at every corner. Girls girls girls everywhere all waiting to meet you......for a price. Then there are the other tourists as well, groups of women out together on a stagette trip and primed to just let go and party, do things that they wouldn't do back home in a million years but because they are away, it's exciting. Well nothing there either! Other people I know have one night stands, some on a regular basis! I can't even bring myself to pay for one! lol.

Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I just suck at reading body language. Maybe I'm just too intimidating, yeah that's the one I'll go with. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think I'm a really good looking guy. I've been told I'm a really good looking guy. From what I can tell I seem to fall into one of two camps with the majority of women. I'm either really hot or really....not, there isn't an in between which really limits my success with most women, at least that's my impression.

For as long as I can remember it seems that women that I'm attracted to are not attracted to me and the kicker is also the reverse, the women that are attracted to me, I'm not attracted to them. Let me tell you, It is such a nerve wracking cycle to be in.

Oh yeah as far as the loosing side is concerned, I did mention I just came back from Vegas. Time to start saving again :(

Beware....time for a venting

OK that's it, I've decided that dating websites are a complete waste of time. They're great if you own the site and like a vampire, suck the cash out of your members while you laugh deviously rubbing your greedy little hands together. But being a member plain old sucks. The sad thing about why this sucks is, I believe, caused by the members themselves! Allow me to explain.

Lately I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone, in the online world at least, and have sent lot's of emails out to many women including those that I wasn't particularly physically attracted to, I know that sounds a bit shallow but physical attraction is the first one to get your attention now isn't it?!? The messages I've been sending out have been rather light and fun and always leaving an open question about something in their profile.To my utter amazement I have not received one reply back from any of them. Now I'm not trying to be stuck up or egotistical but I think I'm a pretty good looking guy. My profile is written in a way that is very down to earth and easy going, partly because one of my female friends helped me write it so it's girl approved already. I have an OK picture up, not the best in my opinion but apparently according to pic rating sites, it rates pretty high.

This has made me think long and hard about why there's no reply's. My epiphany came when I looked at myself and my lifestyle. I think the reason that people, and not just women here, is all about comfort zone. They are just so stuck in their routine that they don't want to have anyone come into their life and mess up what they have going. I mean someone comes into your life and you have to check in with them and see if it's ok that you go out with your friends. Or you won't be able to do that thing you love to do because your new friend isn't into that at all, it's thought like that that I feel are the culprit. I may be naive and all with not so much relationship experience under my belt but I think that a relationship shouldn't mean the end of all the things that make you who you are. Your new friend found you attractive because of who you are so keep doing the things that makes you who you are. When you find that someone that accepts you have a life outside of your relationship and supports you in your passions (and vice versa), that's when you know you've found the one. And that is what I am looking for.

So a new challenge to those on dating sites looking for the 'one'. Girls, grow a pair and respond to the guy that messaged you. If you think they're cute and you like their profile honestly ask yourself what is holding you back from starting a conversation. It may turn into nothing, they might have the personality of a dead fish. Then again they could be something beyond words. You'll never know unless you try.

Rant complete, I feel better now ;)

For the sake of change.

Part of my journey lately has brought me to a place where I realized that I just have way too much shit. There's stuff all over the place, albeit it's a small bachelor apartment so things can get pretty cramped rather quickly. But looking at the whole, there was just to much stuff that was doing nothing but taking up space. 

Example, I bought cabinets for under my desk from ikea a few years ago for the sole purpose (now that I think about it) of holding more crap that I didn't have a place for prior to buying said cabinets! Those cabinets were acting as legs for my computer desk and sat on either side. The computer desk was another gargantuous piece that did an awesome job of being a perfect dumping ground for all the day to day bits and pieces. Things would build up on there until it got to a point that I just couldn't take it anymore. It would then take me hours to go through all the papers and crap, figure out and sort the important stuff from the stuff that should have gone to the trash to begin with.

This discovery (which was right in front of my face) lead me to make a big decision. That big decision was to pull as close to a Zen move as I could. I went and bought a new computer desk. One that was much smaller (and much nicer I might add). The old desk was summarily dismantled and chucked as far as humanly possible (I'm rather strong so it did go pretty far!). I then rearranged all my furniture putting my bed (which I love, it's a new Queen, firm with a pillowtop mmmmm, I digress), against the wall the computer desk used to be. The new computer desk I put against the wall the bed used to be. Are you with me still? Can you picture that? OK. Result, I now have a football field in my apartment and I have no idea what I'm going to do with it lol!

Oh, I forgot to mention. I also had -because I'm a guy, a very large 53" RCA  projection TV, yes as I said I live in a bachelor, yes I know just go with it. I've had it for years and it has done me really really well. GONE! An ad up on craigslist and in 1 day, I had almost 25+ responses. Free things always seem to find a home rather quickly. I ended up giving it away to a family that was 'apparently' on disability. After the said person that was supposedly on disability was one of the people that showed up, I had reservations of the validity of the claim. But too late, I'm a man of my word. I rather quickly replaced that with a 40" Samsung LCD. Now that I must say made a huge difference in the amount of space that was recovered.

Now here's the rub. With all these 'things' being in my life for so long. They've become a part of me in a way. I realized this when I gave away the TV. I was super jazzed about the new LCD don't get me wrong. But watching that old TV go out the door with people that I didn't know, hurt a little. I understand though that that pain is a sign of change and it's good for you. It means that you were in a rut and doing the right thing by making a change. It was a reminder, to me at least, to keep pushing forward and not just sitting back becoming complacent.  The more you can get used to it the better off you are, it keeps you flexible should an awesome opportunity come along. 

So here's challenge to you (whoever is reading this), go through your closets, search your basements and clean out the garage. If you come across things that you haven't touched for at least a year, either sell it or toss it. I think you'll like the feeling. Maybe not a first but you will after, I promise. 


Going through this whole process reminded me of one of my favourite quotes from one of my all time favourite movies, Fight Club. Brad Pitt's character tells Ed Norton's character, "the things you own, end up owning you" and oh how they do!

Now what to do with the football field?

PS. Here's a lifehacker idea for all the clotheshorse people out there. Put all your clothes on hangers in your closet and hook them on from behind, you know, the hard way. At the end of the year go through the closet and look for any hangers that are still hooked from behind. That tells you you haven't worn it in a year and most likely never will wear again. Do yourself a favour, go donate it to the goodwill.

A 180 is an understatement....

I started this blog as a kind of self therapy. Many of the books I've read all tout the same advice about writing down your day to day activities so that you can look back at your own personal progress. That would have worked had I posted a bit more often than I have been. I never really was much of a writer -high school English class was not one of my strongest subjects. I guess I was partly inspired by some of the other blogs out there that I had been reading (thanks criseyde). Reading and wishing that I had such an interesting life that I could share with the world in some way. What is it they say about one mans trash? Lately I've come to feel though that I do have an interesting life and believe me it keeps getting even more interesting every day, there are lots of things that I really don't think I should put up here lol. I really think a turning point came after I read Randy Pausch's book (The Last Lecture) -yes you can watch the video online but ask a book reader and they will always say the book was better. Maybe it was just really good timing, maybe my mind was in just the right place when I read it but it woke something up inside me, it erased the apprehension, the fear. OK fine it lit a fire under my ass!

My earlier posts were laced with me trying to change my usual approach to dating (total failure on all levels if you haven't guessed) and finally getting 'in the game' as it were. How embarrassing it all looks now. The change in outlook on my life have pulled a total 180. I am no where near the same person I was back then in many ways and I think all of those changes were for the better. No longer am I the shy one that drops his head when he sees a cutie on the subway. No more am I the self conscious guy that doubts himself all the friggin time. I remember seeing a show on TV, I can't remember what it was all about but there was a section about this young guy who needed some cash for school -don't let your mind wander now, stay with me. He saw an ad for a modeling position or maybe a friend suggested it, it's not quite clear. When he arrived at the studio it turned out to be a sketching class and he was to be the nude model. I remember at the time how mortified I would have felt if that were me, no friggin way would I have gone through with that! But I find now that I would probably be just fine with it, I'd probably enjoy it! That's the level of change that I'm talking about, a complete 180.

I'm still training hard, still working towards my goal of getting on stage next year (there's another thing that used to freak me out, getting on stage in a teeny tiny little gitch that doesn't really leave much to the imagination). I've just really started offseason training so that means more food heavy! heavy! heavy! and lots of epsom salt baths! As I said, I've only just started offseason and I'm jazzed to say that I'm pretty much right back where I left off last offseason benching 315lbs, still squating and deadlifting 405 but those are getting easier each day. My weight is currently sitting at 201lbs and I intend  to stay as lean as possible this year. The leaner I am come preseason, the easier it is to get lean for the stage and the less stress I have to endure. It's a win on all levels.

If you have any questions on training, diet or supplements, please don't hesitate to write me. I may not have all the answers or the answer that you want to hear but I swear I won't bullshit you.

Anyways, that's all for now. Maybe we'll bump into each other over at Wicked (oh, but that's another story).....

A.

It's been a while.....

Yeah I know it's been a while. I should keep this up more than I have been so here's something that I wanted to share. Long story short, you already know that I go to the gym rather regularly, heck I'm a bodybuilder in case you hadn't noticed from my pic. I was on Facebook the other day and one of my 'likes', a female that works in the fitness industry, posted a note on her wall about the gym and dating. I wrote a short blurb sharing my views and I received and email from a woman on Facebook that read my comment. Here is the chain.

I saw you posting on Jamies wall, you sound just like me. I honestly feel like it will never happen, meeting the right person. But I do, don't go out on friday and saturday nights, the gym is where I end up. And there are quite a few guys in there, but where do you draw the line. I'm there to work out, not get a date. But I see mostly the same people there and we obviously share a passion of staying fit and healthy. Nice picture by the way.

Holly

Here was my response.

Thanks for the note. Yes it is a conundrum, trying to meet people at the gym. I did a talk show with Jamie not too long ago and it was on that exact topic. Jamie's viewpoint was that she was at the gym for her job and that she was not a good idea to meet people at the gym. She has a focussed goal in mind and that is to stay employed. Her other point was also what happens if you break up, wouldn't that be awkward, almost to the point that one would have to find a new gym to go to.My viewpoint on dating people from the gym was coming from the regular person that's not doing it for a living. We use the gym as much as social environment almost as much as we use it to stay in shape. As far as the 'if's' are concerned, I try not to dwell on things that haven't happened yet and try to live for the now.

Not long ago I picked up a copy of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I haven't finished reading it yet but the general gist of the book that I am getting is time is finite. You only have a certain amount of time and no one knows how much we have. Bottom line is use every minute you have doing what you want to do and not wasting it. Go out and get what it is you want from life rather than accepting whatever falls in your lap. With that in mind, approaching people at the gym for the means of starting a relationship could mean a whole new life filled with something amazing. I don't think I could let that chance slip away because I was either afraid of rejection or for fear of annoying someone.

PS. Thanks for the compliments on my pic.

It's reassuring to hear that I am not the only one that had reservations. That there are women out there that are open to men approaching them at the gym and also women that will approach men. As I said in my message back to her, my viewpoint has changed in that there's a lot to loose out on if you don't take a chance sometimes. As Arnold said it, "you won't know if you can squat 500lbs unless you are willing to fail, those that  accept failure but do it anyway are the ones that succeed".

So, do you go to the gym? What is your viewpoint?

PS; Yes, I have the same Blogger pic on my Facebook page as well.

Later.

A thought...

I had a thought the other day and thought I would write it down here. I read somewhere that writing (ok I'm typing it, give me a break) can help in remembering things. Besides, someone else might get something out of my drivelings.

I've always been one to say that I have an open mind as I feel everyone should have. No one can know everything or dismiss another persons opinion for I fear they may miss out on something that could change their lives. That being said I also strongly believe that it does not matter what other people think of you. Having a strong sense of self and confidence is a necessity in order to survive and grow.

What I came across is a conflict between being open minded while also ignoring anothers comments. I just can't seem to see how you can do both until it dawned on me, yes you can.

What I figured out is not to ignore the comments or opinions of others but to weigh the value that they have. This value can be based on whatever you like but I myself base it on who the comment is coming from. If the comment is coming from a very close friend I know I can value that comment highly. Likewise, if a comment comes from someone that I do not know at all, I can place a lower value on the comment. If a comment comes from someone that I do not get along with at all, I can place a very low if non-existent value on it and ignore them.

This way you can be open minded to new things or ideas and also hold your own beliefs about yourself.

Just a random thought.

A.

Crash and burn...

I know I know it's been a little while since I wrote something here. I'm tryin I swear. Sometimes I just can't bring myself to think about things and just want to distract myself with mindless drivel. That's a bad thing I know, it's much better to live in the moment and focus on what you are doing and feeling. Doing so is what allows us to grow mentally and spiritually.

Enough of that, let's get on to what been going on.

The weekend before last and just after my previous post, I went over to Aroma at Y&E. I must say I really like the place. The food is awesome and the tea they bag themselves which is quite different compared to all the other coffee shops out there. I did however have a rather odd moment as I was sitting at the bar (not a booze bar, a coffee bar). This cute girl sat next to me and I caught her peeking. She had this humongous grin on her face and since I'm a sucker for smiles, I just had to start something. The conversation was great, she said she's a dancer, I asked what kind of dancer (get you head out of the gutter folks, there are other types of dancers out there)to which she replied, Jazz and ballet which she has been doing for the past 10 years. She also mentioned that she was finishing her last year of school and was going to take a year off to travel and such. I took that to mean that she was finishing college or university so I asked her what her focus was. I can't entirely remember how it came up but I started to work out her age from the info she had been giving me. Before I could come up with my guess she blurted out, "17, I'm just finishing my last year of high-school" !!!!!!. My age radar is seriously screwed up I tell ya, I was going to say I thought she was around 27. We both had a chuckle and by that time her order was ready at the counter.

Like many others, I'm up on a couple of dating websites. The all mostly "suck" for lack of a better word. I've come to understand two facts about online dating. Most guys go on these sites because they sincerely want to meet someone. I also have concluded that most women do not. I've been up on Fitness Singles for a while now. Been on Lava but F.S. seemed a bit more what I am looking for. Someone active and up for some fun. I found this one girl on there that I thought was pretty interesting so I sent her an email asking her if she had been catching much of the Olympics. 4 days go by and there was no reply whatsoever. Now normally I would have just walked away and ignored her but this time was different. I sent her another email, this time I was a little confrontational asking her if she was "the type of girl that flakes out all the time". I promised her that it would be ok if we talked for a bit that I'm not some psycho. Well she responded to that one and in a fun way accepting my self proclaimed "non-psycho" credentials. I sent her another email answering her small talk questions and asked her some as well. She had mentioned that I should "just ask her out for a walk" so I did. I invited her out to the Eaton Centre to do some clothes shopping. Honestly what girl would give up the chance to completely destroy a guys fashion sense I tell ya! Well she did, another 5 days goes by and no response again, this kind of behavior drives me nuts! To shorten the story, I've tried on two occasions now to set a first date on neutral grounds and so far she has yet to read the email with the second invite. It doesn't really matter though, there are tonnes of other women out there for me to meet. Now if I could only figure out where they go lol.

So there we have it, yeah that's pretty much all that's been happening. I know this makes me sound really boring and what not which is far from the truth, at least that's what I think. I have a feeling that this summer is going to be different for me though. In a lot of different ways too. I can't really say what it is but my way of thinking has changed considerably in such a short amount of time. When I look back at where I was a year, year and a half ago I can't help but feel so much happier with my life. I guess that's one reason why I've been putting so much effort into meeting new people (women mostly). I'd really like to share how I feel with someone close, you know what I mean? just kinda spread the happiness around a bit.

As you know it is Sunday and Sunday means leg day. It's a 'B' week which means not too heavy for those that are following my advice. I start my preseason dieting on May 1st and I can't wait to start. Off-season is great and all, you can eat pretty much what you want and all. The problem is you always feel bloated and heavy. Food after a while becomes more of a chore than something enjoyable. Preseason changes all of that to the opposite extreme, you're always hungry and near the end of 16 weeks you are so tired you can hardly walk. I tell ya what, I tell you more about that when I'm in the thick of it.

Later.

[Listening to: Watchin' Aliens II (a classic)]

Expand, flex, grow...

This week started off like your typical Monday. You know the whole "I Hate Mondays" thing. First let me say that I work in the support department for a SAAS company -that's "Software as a Service" in case you were not aware of such cool acronyms. My work, on Sunday had scheduled as service pack release to address some bugs that were found. Well the service pack went OK, the problem is that some of those updates included Microsoft updates to our webservers and SQL servers. It was one of those updates that started to kill off our SQL servers one by one. Needless to say, shit was not working as it should. The phones were ringing off the hook with case after case of the same issues. I normally handle about 15 to 20 calls a day, 25 to 30 if we are in our busy season. On Monday morning I managed 18 calls in about 3 hours! The rest of the week went OK as far as work is concerned so that was a good thing.

Ok so this may be a bit on the TMI side of things but I gotta tell you one of the best things I have done in a long time. Being a bodybuilder, my level of protein intake is pretty high. Higher than most people (non bodybuilders) would think is humanly possible. That poses some questions when it comes to #2 if you know what I mean. It's as if I've been slightly constipated for the past 3 years (yeah I know, I wasn't very comfortable most of the time). Well I had to find another approach to try and solve this issue and came across your everyday regular psyllium husk. Psyllium has got to be the highest fibre there is with just two tablespoons providing 36% of your daily recommended fibre intake! I put two tablespoons in each of my three protein shakes throughout the day and they are really fixing me up.The past 3 weeks I have never felt better, try it out yourself if you are having the same problems. I am positive you will thank me.

On the dating side of things, not too much happening there at the present. Although I did accomplish something that I've always had a hard time with. I made my first cold approach on the subway one morning ;). Ok so nothing really came of it. We didn't have all that much time to talk, mainly because I waited way too long to strike up the conversation. We had about 2 stops worth of small talk before she got off at King street (hey King street girl, if you're reading this, you have my email and number, use them!). I had to say something to her about her eyes. She had those eyes that mesmerize me. They were a blue/green hazel and she had her hair coloured in a deep red. The contrast of her eyes and her hair just grabbed my attention and slapped it around a bit.

I have to do more of that regardless of what actually happens. I need to get out and meet new people and expand my circle of friends. David Wygant has got some really good concepts that really do work. I'm sure you've seen his work if you've seen the movie Hitch with Will Smith. Smith's character was based on David's life and business. If you haven't seen the movie, go see it, there are a ton of excellent points in there that you can use in your own dating life.

I've been giving some serious thought to picking up the guitar, electric of course. It started a little while ago when I saw the Raconteurs video for "The Level". It's live and Jack White just kills it. I really admire his style and would love to have a bit of what that feels like. I figured I can fit in lessons on Saturdays no problem. I found some postings on craigslist for tutors and was happy to see the pricing isn't as bad as I thought it would be. $18 per hour and you don't even have to have a guitar to start! Most of the ads say that they have guitars that they can provide. This is a perfect situation in my opinion. If I come to feel that it isn't for me, there isn't a big financial layout to find that out!

Well it's Saturday which means it's arms day at the gym. It's a 'B' schedule week as well so not a full out effort, just 80% of max effort. Next week goes back to an 'A' schedule which means lift heavy. If you aren't taking this kind of approach yourself in your gym endeavors, I would recommend that you do. It allows your body to bounce back a bit better, and allows you to go heavy when you need to go heavy, because going heavy is the only way to build real muscle.

Well that's it for now. I want to run out and pick up some apples and stuff. I have a prescription to grab as well. I also would like to stop and grab a tea at this new coffee shop. I've been there before and I really like it. If you're in the Y&E area, stop into Aroma Espresso Bar and look for the big bald guy.

[listening to: She Wants Revenge - Tear You Apart]

Day 1 of ........

I've never blogged before. It's not really my nature to express myself openly to people that I do not know. That being said, I have come to a point where I need to do new and different things. So here we go.

I won't get into much detail about who I am, let's just say that I am a 37 year old youngster :) that is into computers and bodybuilding. Not your average combination I know, but I am special so there! I have had some on and off relationships throughout my years but I have yet to have that all fulfilling person in my life. I don't think in the past I was ready for something real, I've always just kept to myself and enjoyed -as much as one can, my own company. But things are changing for me and so is my way of thinking. This blog is just one of those steps.

My intention for this blog is to write down those little nuggets of wisdom that I come across. Immortalize the quotes that I come up with myself (it has happened), and just find a way of expressing myself.

Sundays are leg days at the gym, also known a puke days. This is a heavy week too which means 400lb squats, 850lb leg presses, reverse box lunges, and quads, quads, quads. My hams are doing pretty good, it's my quads that need some more mass and separation.

Ok, so wrapping up this first post, I know that there isn't a whole lot here (it's my first, give me a break). I'll come back and write some more and after a while this will get easier to do.

Till then,

"shut up and squat"